make new friends but keep the old

today i am at work, i am bored out of my mind...last night was not a good night for me, i almost lost another friend in my fenton group, i was told the same thing i heard from asshole stephen, that i was crazy and i had bs. sooo that leaves to think, am i crazy or am i just completly missunderstood.
I mean i have my freinds from st.es, they get me fine and if i was ever called crazy its bc i would do stupid shit..maybe i never really allowed myself to get completly close to my summit friends, with the exception of 3.one being kelsey, who abandoned me has a friend for the guy that fucked me over. losing a best friend was hard, so my cure for that was shutting up, hiding my emeotions and feelings. my other two good friends sarah and rachel will always be my friends regardless of what may come between us. so i guess with my summit friends i learned to lock it up. close my feelings and pretend my life was the best, when inside it was falling apart. sometimes i think, what if i stopped hanging around them would it matter, would they care? i mean as long as stephen was around, no one really mentions my name, he has learned to hate it.
so that leaves my st.e friends that i will have no matter what, we have known each other since we were all five, going to school together until we were 14. 9 years, they were my family, 9 years we shared gaining new friends, not as individuals but as a group. when highschool i was nervous i would lose them, but after those 4 years, i still had all of them..first year of college out of the way, and we are still farting adn laughing at each other, playing games all night in someones basement. ...we are still watching the class video, and we are still doing the same stupid shit we always did.
its like when we all get together, its like we never really grew up, we will forevver be lost in time, and that itself is priceless and worth keeping around.

dads are overrated

alright well its been forever since i posted something, but i guess life got in the way...hardly anyone reads this so i feel its the most realible place to share my feelings, so here it goes.
so much is going on right now. i havent talked to my dad in weeks..i honestly dont know him. he lost his job awhile back and has failed to look for one and even try to make things better, he is now living with my gma in her 2 bedroom apartment...my parents are divoreced so in the argreement they made when they split up was that he would have to pay for part of my college, with no job it leaves me to pick uo his slack...i have no money at all.
my dad told me to fuck off and hung up on me, he has yet to call me back or even say sorry. im sitting here looking at his fathers day gift as i type, i wonder if he will ever get...he even tried to make me feel bad bc on fathers day i didnt have it.
so thats my dad, i will prob end up not having him in my life which is unfortunate bc everyone needs a dad, but i have spent my whole life taking care of my dad and being the adult. and all i do is get shit on.
there is so much more but illl save that foe a rainy day.